I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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