tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize