im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
