I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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