i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
