i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Randomize
