I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize