So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
