i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
