Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
