there was a trapeze. enough said
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
