windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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