There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize