Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
