i don't like sucking hair
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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