AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
