i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
