"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My ATM looks so different sober.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
