i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
