I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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