At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I came so hard my ears popped.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
