it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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