All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize