I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
