I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
