I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
