Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
