Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
