I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
