oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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