You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the condom got lost in my hair
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize