he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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