At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
