oh god the rape fog is back!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
