did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
