There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
