Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
