what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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