WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
