Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
