We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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