ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
