So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
