From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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