Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
