I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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