So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
