Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize