What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is my gift to your gina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
