is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
