You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
