You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize