I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
