I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
