sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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