Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
