you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
