Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize