i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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