Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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