i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
