i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
