At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
