My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
