Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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