And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
