know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
