Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
