We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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