Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
