How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
