It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I deserve this hangover.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
