Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
