matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
