I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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